Poems by Tracy Brooks 2018

Tracy Brooks

TRACY BROOKS believes in the power of poetry and stories. As an intuitive empath and Shamanic healer, she offers channeled writings and poems to support others, www.facebook.com/soulbeckons. Death has always been a teacher to her and she has communicated with those that have passed on for most of her life. This whispering between worlds is the foundation of her first book, which is being finished now. When not writing, she is busy homeschooling her children, receiving wisdom from her dog, teaching yoga to young people, and offering various spiritual practices to others.  www.tracybrookswriter.com


haiku

wind howling loudly
I hear my grandmother’s pain
rain softly soothes it

my body the outcast

seventeen hurt physically
”you’re too sensitive” they said
”you’ve no idea” whispered my body

twenty-five had me running
”you’re too trusting” they said
”you’ve no idea” said my body softly

thirty-four brought both death and life
”it must be bittersweet” they said
”you’ve no idea” my body retorted

Fifty fell apart beside me
”oh it’s MS” they said
”you’ve no fucking idea” screamed my body

anticipation
(for my precious grandson)

I knew your heartbeat
it was etched upon the winds even long ago
I dreamed of your sweetness long before
you ever entered this space
it was if the angels let your essence
speak to us in the night
oh how much you were wished for
your arrival still delights me
love lives in your eyes

haiku

uncontrollable
I need someone to hold it
please fence it in

lifetimes have passed since I have heard my own heartbeat
some kind of noise always drowns it out
through the chaos I feel her
she dances to music no one else can hear
carrying multitudes of beauty and despair in every step
bittersweet movements
patterns
rhythms
pauses
blossoms right where she is
she is her own muse

I have forever
gazed up at the sky longingly
feeling homesick

I have forever
wandered forgotten spaces
tasting freedom

I have forever
prayed for a way to forget
what the ache whispers

I have forever
come back searching
for what was left behind

don’t stop the rain

secrets of our mothers
whispered in the dark
forgotten over time
yet they still howl in the wind
spoon fed lies
watered down love
poured over gaping hurts
we still believed in the promises
freshly presses linens
crimson colored dress
all the pretty things
couldn’t hide the fading bruises
yet in the distance
my great grandmother sings
”what becomes of the rain,
don’t we all get wet?”

scars

festering wound
covered by forgetting
standing up against all odds
blocking out noise

body can only stay quiet for so long
pain turns inward
poisons what’s still free
collapse is imminent

pay attention
to the ways the body reaches out
allow the messages to be welcomed
scars need allies

haiku

life holds me here now
infinity casts its net
pulls me towards home

skinsong

in this skin
raw
unstoppable
small
collapsible
all extremes fade into flesh

in this skin
life has been held
death has been walked with
all of life
lays upon the landscape

in this skin
pain has tried to eat me
fear has held me down
yet touching life brought forth love

songs of protection and immersion
repelling and inviting
sensing both truth and disarray
holds me here

 —

series of haikus

on the dark edges
I wept inside lost spaces
imminent return home

swept out of corners
I fed upon barren hurts
listening to wind

carelessly I left
devouring all intention
broken heart be free

death refuses lies
in breath we swallow heartache
exhale what remains

of silence – a haiku

space between the breath
infinite surrender here
always a threshold


Day 3

Results

what of the collapsed shadows in the corner
their knowing that
the lurking angel of death
would have to be invited
this wasn’t supposed to be your farewell party
but in the somber air, the doctor told the DJ it was time for the last dance
so
I reached for the sun in the middle of the night
borrowed courage from your stories
and begged the angels for more time
I told God my breath felt borrowed so could I give some back
to you now?

In the eleventh hour we always find our courage
that’s what you always said
not sure what kept the sadness from bleeding me out
no choice now but to say it
since you almost surely knew
yet he didn’t

burning truths must be surrendered
you’d have no way to stop time
I’d have no way to contain you
as your body was fading
your spirit was growing far too big for this world

neither one of us ever liked endings
yet here we were amongst the cruelest goodbye
telling you you were dying was the hardest thing I ever had to do
but you wanted the truth
I saw you searching
love forced me to be much braver than I was

Day 2
a haiku-

longest steps taken
towards what grows you onwards
your path calls your name

DAY 1

what of this beautiful mess
right before my eyes
soft glow of departing sun make it perfect

open windows
birds whisper
telling me softly
“love is the best song”

scents of flowers and brisket
comfort in each breath
time disappears as my foot softly brushes up against my four legged best friend

slow sips of coffee
I feel my mama in the air
reminding me to savor this

salty tears begin to tiptoe down my face
small fingers that smell like crayons and cookies reach out to call me back

I hear the raspy voice declare
“Mother, this is beyond magnificent “
messy haired wonder
smiles right before me
joy resides in me
this tiny moment will live on

DAY 2
a haiku-

longest steps taken
towards what grows you onwards
your path calls your name

DAY 3