A dream within a dream, Edgar Allen Poe eat your heart out!


Amid the dream of impassioned delusions where I met my harrowing vision of fear and loss; that my soul was cast upon the sea of chaos.  No stillness in waters as I was plunged to the great abyss of nothingness embossed.  Gasping for breath not from fear of death or drowning;  but from the loss of self. 

If fear could have a master this was fear’s principal.  I was in the midst of an awakening in the middle of a dream, but not just a dream, but a dream within a dream; I awakened to this caster of evil as I seemed facing an understanding, a knowledge, a full awareness that I did not exist.

The blackened sea of terror, closed all around me.  I was in a nightmare that made falling seem like fun.  I had no ability to fly, no control, only loss of self; a knowledge beyond death to a nothingness within.  Drawn into the emptiness of the Black hole; God’s eternal formless void. 

There was no faith, no Scripture remembered, nothing to hold because all that I knew was naught; the only thing to hold was the fear.  In the midst of this formless nothing there was no I, no me, nothing but my fear and a terror beyond anything I have ever felt.  Death would have been better, hell would have been a place but this nothing was worst.  How could I escape?   It was where I was and I wasn’t there?  Then I woke up to a dream.  In this dream I was caught in the paradox of wanting to return to the void and yet afraid of the terror that I would return.  Finally I awoke to the reality of my bed, still gasping for air, afraid to go to sleep again and knowing it would be something I had to do again. 

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