Poems by Jake Cosmos Aller 2017

Jake AllerJOHN (“JAKE”) COSMOS ALLER is a novelist, poet, and former Foreign Service officer having served 27 years with the U.S. State Department in ten countries – Antigua, Barbados, Dominica, Grenada, Korea, India, St Kitts, St Lucia, St Vincent, Spain, and Thailand. and traveled to 45 countries during his career.  Jake has been an aspiring novelist for several years and has completed two novels, (Giant Nazi Spiders, and the Great Divorce) and is pursuing publication.  He has been writing poetry all his life and has published his poetry in electronic poetry forums, including All Poetry, Moon Café, and Duane’s Poetree. (under the name Jake Lee).  He is looking forward to transitioning to his third career – full-time novelist and poet after completing his second career as a Foreign Service officer, and his first career as an educator overseas for six years upon completion of his Peace Corps service in South Korea.

April 1 Berkeley California

Growing up in the 60’s
In Berkeley almost 50 years ago
I think back
At those turbulent times
Those crazy wonderful times

Berkeley is a wonderful place
In many ways
Stuck forever in 1967
A true time travel experience

Every time I go back
And relive the memories
Of the 60’s

The 60’s never died
They continue
In college towns
Across the world

And Berkeley
Remains the mecca
Of the counter cultural revolution

Many things have changed
But the organic food revolution
Became mainstream

Marijuana spread out
The sexual revolution
Became mainstream

So much of the world
Is but a reflection
Of the revolution of the 60’s

And the conservative counter-revolution
That we are still fighting
So, I salute
My homeland

The center of my universe

April 2 Lithia Springs

Staying at Lithia Springs
Soaking in the healing waters

Soaking my pains away
Renewing my life

Renewing my love
As we both soak away

As the pain of life go away
And our love grows

With each soaking session
Life is good

At the hot springs water
Sooths us and smooth us

And we fall in love
Again and again

April 3  Walls

Trump wants a wall
Between America and Mexico

A wall against the southern hordes
A wall based on fear and hate

A wall to make America safe
A wall to make America great again

And yet I wonder
Will his wall fall

Like the Berlin wall
And the great wall

And all the other walls
They all failed
All of them

Walls divide us
Walls make us
Into different tribes

Between the pure
And the impure

St Reagan
Said Tear Down this Wall

Will future Presidents
Tear down this begotten wall

Or will it become a tourist attraction
Another great wall
Against barbarian hordes

April 4 Changes

I reflect upon my life
As the sun comes up

What could I have changed
What would I have changed

If I could go back in time
What would I tell my earlier self

What would I do differently
And what have I learned

The one thing
that I would not have changed
is meeting the women of my dreams

the chance meeting on a bus
that changed everything
in a moment

I met my fate
That day on the bus

And that is the end of the story

April 5 Facing Life’s Challenges Together

Woke up at 0 dark hundred
Vowing to boldly go forth
And face the challenges of the future
Without fear

Knowing that I have you there
Makes all the difference in the world
As we meet our fate

Until the day we die

April 6 Wagontire, Oregon

In 1973, I went on a road trip
With my father

We left Berkeley to go to Yakima
Where my father had a summer cabin

He was a college professor
And had July and August off

And we spent the summers
Every summer from 1968 to 1978

Our whole dysfunctional family
Our annual road trip to hell and back
As we did not get along at all

We decided to drive through Eastern Oregon
Just my father and me
Just for the hell of it

The rest of the family was already there

My father and I shared a travel lust
One of the few things we shared

This was one of our best trips
We got along
Which was unusual

Normally our relationship
Was fraught
As we were so different

We left Klamath Falls
A real nothing burg in those days

And headed east along highway 395
As we entered the desert of eastern Oregon
We entered a different world

High mountain dessert
Almost no one on the road

Then we saw the sign
Wagontire Oregon
100 miles ahead

99 miles ahead
98 miles ahead

We counted down the signs
Miles after miles
As we drove into the gathering dusk

We speculated that Wagontire
Must be a giant truck stop
In the middle of no where

We pulled into the town
Nothing there but a gas station
Motel and café

We decided to stop
Last gas for 100 miles
According to the highway signs

In the morning
We chatted with the owner

He was the sheriff, the fire chief
The owner of the motel, gas station
The only business in town

And the only place open
For one hundred miles

I noticed a highway sign outside
Welcome to Wagontire, Oregon
Population 2 ½ humans 10 dogs, 50.000 sheep

I asked the Sherriff
Say who is the ½ human?

My idiot son!

And we left.
200 miles later
We finally left Eastern Oregon


In 2016 my wife and I drove through Eastern Oregon
As part of our epic cross country trip
10,000 miles
31 states in three months

On the way from Medford to Yellowstone
We drove along highway 395

The signs for Wagontire was gone
And we drove through the town

The motel was abandoned
Nothing there at all

And that sign was gone too

I said I suppose the idiot son
Never took over the business

And we speculated about Wagontire
And all other nothing burgs
We drove through that summer

Heart of Trump’s America
True fly over country

April 7 Watching Cats Hunt

Early morning
Watching two white cats
Hunting a white dove

The cats hunt in pairs
Tracking the bird

The bird flies away
Safe for now

And I think about the cats
And the hunt goes on

Such is life
And the fate of cats
And birds

April 8 Landlord Blues
I am a landlord
Owner of property

Here there and elsewhere
Have been for years

I have tenants
and tenant issues galore

I receive rent from the tenants
it seems money grows on the proverbial tree

but at times
from time to time

I hate being a landlord
I suppose in my heart

I am a socialist with a blending heart
But my wife is comfortable as a landlord

She calls me a hypocrite
And a wild romantic goat
Born under the sign of the goat

And I call her a capitalist pig
Born under the sign of the golden pig

April 9 Pane e circus 2017 Redux

By order of his excellency
Emperor Donald the First

The merciful,
the Christian King of Kings
The Sultan of Sultans
The Emperor of North America

Be it hereby decreed
That the ancient honorable gladiator games
Of the old Roman Empire
Have been restored

Each city in the Empire will host a team
They will compete for the honor
Of the national championship

The games will start
With fighting animals

Fighting fish
And lions

Then a man lion contest
With a heretic thrown to the lions

If he or she lives
They will be pardoned

Then then main games
Six men/women teams compete

Armed with swords, knifes, mace, clubs
They fight until one man or women remains
The victor of the game

Those who are prisoners
Can compete for their freedom
And a full imperial pardon

Let the games begin
Long may the games reign
In the new North America Empire

Praise be to the Emperor
Donald the First

April 10 Long Live Emperor Donald the Ist

Ladies and Gentlemen
My fellow American citizens
Greetings and salutations

Today is a momentous day
The old corrupt USA republic is no more
The constitution that once protected us
Has been overthrown and violated

The barbarians at the gate
Have taken over

And ruined the once great land
The last hope of the world

And so, I had no choice
But to kill the old rotten regime
And restore American greatness

To save democracy
I must destroy it

And so, starting today
I will serve as the Emperor of North America

I welcome Canada and Mexico
And the Caribbean islands
To join The North American Empire

As we rebuild America
Restoring American greatness
And making us all proud again

Proud subjects of the New American Empire
May the Empire reign forever and a day
Triumphant against all enemies

And so, I take this burden
Sadly, but gladly

I will serve you
As your Empire

And my son Donald
Will serve as our second emperor
Once I pass from this world

His son will serve as the third emperor
And so on until the end of time

And we will reign in our new capitol city
Colorado Springs
Until the end of time

Washington will remain in our hearts
As the capitol of the old Republic

But the heirs of the Roman Empire
Need a new Imperial Capitol

And soon we will conquer Mars
And expand our Empire to the Starts

Long Live the Empire
Long Live America

Good night
And may God Bless
This great Empire

April 11 3 Am Nightmares

3 am

The bewitching hour
When the wild things come out
And play

And torture you
With endless wild accusations
And nightmarish visions

As I toss and turn
Trying to escape

I look over at my wife
And as always
Repeat the mantra
Everything will be alright

And the wild things are banished
To the dark corners of my mind

And I recover my happiness
And I smile
As I look at the sleeping beauty

Still the most beautiful women in the world
Still the most alluring women in the world

Still in love with her
After 35 years

The love gets stronger and stronger
As she overcomes my despair

And the sun comes up
And I think to myself

What a wonderful life I have
With the women of my dreams

April 12 Zombie Apocalypse

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

Everywhere zombies galore
The end of the world had become
And the zombification of the world had begun

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

No one knew when or where the first zombies appeared
One moment zombies were just a collective figment of our deranged imagination
The next moment we were all living in a zombie apocalypse nightmare

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

Some said the zombies were created in a lab
Released by mad scientists and the military
Others said it was plague sent by God himself
To punish mankind for tolerating evil and moral depravity

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

The Christians and Muslims prayed
But their prayers went unheard
As they too soon became zombies

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

The zombies hunted in packs
Overwhelming their victims
Killing most instantly
But some they simply bit
And turned them into fellow zombies

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

The zombies did not attack one another
They preferred living live flesh
Human flesh but they ate everything they saw

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

And so, I ran into the countryside
With my fellow humans
Hit out deep in the woods
Hiding from zombies
And crazed cannibal gangs alike

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

The world ended that day
And our nightmare world began

Zombies to the right of me
Zombies to the left of me
Zombies ahead of me
Zombies behind me

April 13 Spring Doositsu for Angela Poem a Thon

Waking up seeing you there
Watching you as you wake up
Fills me with such sweat desire
Overcoming my mind

I sit watching you all day
Thinking of you all day long
Wild erotic imaginings
Love making to come

That old blues song come to mind
I just want to make love to you
I just want to make love to you
Nothing more than that that

I end this morning with this thought
You are still the most wonderful
The most beautiful creature
In the whole universe


April 14 Love Jones

I got the Love Jones, baby
And it won’t leave me alone

I got the Love Jones, baby
And it won’t leave me alone

I’ve been writing these love poems
All day long

And I have been dreaming
Of all the ways, I could make love
To my secret lover

If only she will let me be

If only she will open her heart
And let me in

Perhaps the love Jones
Might leave me along

But I got the love Jones
Bad baby

Can’t you tell?
That the love Jones
Has grabbed my Soul

Twisted it up into little pieces
And I need you
To unravel the Love Jones

I need you to answer the call
Of the Love Jones Baby

I need you
To let me be free

Of the spell
Of the Love Jones

I got the Love Jones

I got it bad
And only you can
Put a stop to the love Jones

Let me enter your life
Put out the fire of desire

Send the Love Jones packing
And let me make sweat love to you

Oh, Love Jones
Go away

Let me be in peace

Love Jones
Leave me be

I got the love Jones
For you

Can’t you see?
What you do to me?

I got the Love Jones
Baby and it ain’t going away

Until I get to make love to you

Then perhaps this Love Jones
Will leave me be
Love Jones


April 15 Kim Vs. Trump Twitter War -in memorial of Kim Il Sung’s the Great Leader’s Birthday

President Kim, it is time that we cut the shit and cut a deal #Real Trump

President Trump, it is impossible for us to cut a deal unless you agree to me keeping nukes # Kim Jong-un the Great

President Kim, you know that if I want I can just make you disappear. You can be wiped off the earth in a moment. We know where you live #real Trump

President Trump, we have a nuke with your name on it on a boat sailing up the Potomac and it will blow your ass up any day now so don’t fuck with us. #Kim Jong-un the Great

Kim, your stupid Asian gook. Let me break it down for yah You threaten the US you die and all the North Koreans go to hell. Is it worth it? #real Trump.

Trump, you are so stupid. You are the worst excuse for a human being ever $ Kim Jong-un the Great

Kim, you are the stupid mother fucker. I mean what’s up with that idiot haircut of yours? $real Trump

Trump I would not talk about hair, you orange haired mutant mother fucker. #Kim Jong-un the Great

Kim, it is all real baby and so are my wife’s boobs… #real Trump

Trump, let’s cut the crap and get down to business. How much will you pay us to get rid of the nukes? #kimJongun the Great

Kim, lets meet manor a mano and get it out on the table. No nukes no chems no bioweapons and no more political prisoners to start with #realTrump

Trump, we can discuss. If I can stay in power the rest is negotiable #Kim Jong un the great

Finally, the two of you are talking sense. About time #Xi the President of China

April 16 Why I am not a Christian Easter Thoughts

On Easter Sunday, I often think about Christianity
I don’t understand why anymore would believe such nonsense

The essential story makes no sense
An imaginary all powerful deity that no one has ever seen or heard
Except for psychotic patients or Drug users
Comes down to earth and impregnates a married woman

Who has never had sex for some reason
And her husband is okay with that
Believes her wild story

And still does not have sex
Until after the baby is born

Then there is total silence
Nothing about Jesus’s childhood

30 years later he emerges
Preaching love, peace and brotherhood
And denouncing the corrupt temple leaders
And the Jewish leaders as well

The miracles also don’t make any sense
In the real world, you can’t turn fish into bread
Can’t walk on water
Can raise the dead etc. etc.

Just does not happen
In the world, we live in
And has not happen since those ancient days

Then the last supper makes some sense
Jesus knows he is about to be betrayed

But he does not confront Judas
Does not run away
Does not encourage his disciplines
To run away with him

The whole Jesus Mary M story
Also, does not make sense

Jesus must have been married
Or he was gay

There is no doubt
Either way the story makes no sense

The crucifixion is the only part of the story I buy
Jesus was put to death because he was a rebel leader

And the Romans tolerated no dissent
To the Roman’s right to conquer and rule

The rising from the dead stories
All contradict one another

And Jesus was either walking as a normal human being
Or was a ghost

The door was rent open as if by lightening
Or not

Finally, we have been waiting over 2,000 years for his return
You would think if the story is remotely true
He would have turned up by now

Except he has
As many lunatics claim to be Jesus
in the flesh

all delusional of course
and that is what I think of Christianity

nothing but fairy tales and mass delusions
surrounding a kernel of truth

Love one again
Treat each other right
Don’t be consumed with greed

But couldn’t that message
Be made simpler
Without all the associated nonsense?

So, on this day I say
Open your minds

And discard the nonsensical elements of Christian thought
And follow the true teachings of Jesus
Even if you don’t believe in the imaginary man in the sky

April 18 Spring Time in Oregon

Spring has finally sprung in Oregon
Escaping from the longer winter prison
That has covered the land with snow

They say that this winter
Was a colder than normal winter
Wetter than normal
As the long drought finally ended

As nature resumed its normal spring thaw
I rejoice

Seeing all the signs of spring
Especially the sight of young beautiful women
Shedding their winter clothes
And walking about in the spring sunshine

So wonderfully alive
So, beautiful and sexy
As they sashay about
Here and there

It makes me smile
All day long

Yes, I love Spring time
Everywhere in the world

But especially in Oregon
My new found second home

April 19 Cats

I often wonder about Cats
What do they think of us

It seems at time
That cats think of humans
As their slaves

We exist to feed them
To comfort them

To save them from their enemies
And to worship them

Yes, cats are an alien species
Totally different from humanity
Detached, and almost evil

If we ever encounter an alien civilization
God help us if it’s a cat based civilization

We would then be engaged
In the epic mother of all wars

As cats and humans would not get along
The cats would think we were their slaves

And we would resent and fear them
And secretly worship their alien ways

April 20 Secret Agency Man

Secret agent man
Where are you going?

What do you know?
And when did you know it?

What dark secrets do you hide
In your inner soul?

Do you even have a soul anymore?
Or has it been so compromised
That there is nothing left?

But lies, within lies with lies

Do you even know the truth?
Does the truth set you free?

Or is the truth just another lie?
That you tell yourself

I’d like to know
My secret agent man

Perhaps someday you well tell me
Your deepest darkest secrets

And reveal what the government is hiding
But perhaps I can’t handle the truth

So, keep you secrets to yourself
And let them die with you

As you go to your grave
Your secrets buried deep within
Your corrupted soul

Until the end of time
Reveals all


April 21 COSTCO People Watching

I love my COSTCO
I love going there to shop

But most importantly
I love people watching

Looking at people as they walk by
Wondering what their stories are

And covertly checking out the beautiful girls
As they walk on by

And when they smile at me
It makes my day

Yes, I love my COSTCO
And COSTCO Loves Me back

Extracting my money
From my wallet

I go in for one simple thing
And walk out having spent 500 dollars

Yes, COSTCO has my number
And loves me too
Long Live COSTCO

April 22 The Dogs of War are Howling

The Dogs of War
Have been set free
Of their cage

And are out
Howling at the moon

The Dogs of War
Have been set free

To wreck what havoc
Might be

Yes, the Dogs of War
The Hell Hounds
Have bound out of their cages

Sniffed about
And smiled

At the destruction, they saw
They knew soon

They would be in their element
As the world descends into chaos

The Dogs of war
Are at foot

The chaos is upon us
The evil grows and grows

And dark noises are heard
Here and there

And the dogs of war

They knew soon
They would be in their element

The war machine
Came to life

The plans came out of the books
The military might be unleashed

And the Dogs of war
Smiled and howled at the moon

And the rest of the world
At the thought of what was yet to be

Satan on the other hand
Was happy as can be

With the evil shit
That was going down

He smiled
Patted his hell hounds
And told his dogs

The war to end all wars
Armageddon is upon us my friend

Soon, mankind will know
The face of absolute evil

And they will love it
When I take over

The armies prepare
The bombers prepare

And the dogs of war
Are happy
Unleashed to do their mischief

And soon millions may die
And the pits of hell
Will open

And the judgement day
May be upon us all

Madness descends upon the land
The fog of hate envelops us all

And reason and civilization
Fall away

As the Dogs of War
And their minions
Take over the minds of man

And the end of the world
And the beginning of the end times
Come upon us all

The usual lies descend upon the world
Kim Jong un is evil personified

He must be destroyed over there
Before he can destroy us over here

The lies continue unabated
And Kim plays along
With each day unleashing another threat

With Trump and his minions
Responding in time

Saying the time for talk is over
The time for robust action is here

The machinery of war
Once unleashed
Can’t easily be stopped

There is a certain cruel logic
That demands that the war go on

And people die
And people suffer

And the US goes bankrupt
Morally and fiscally

And the evil that men do
Goes on and on and on

But the war machine must be fed
The munitions makers must be paid

As each million-dollar missile is launched
Millions more are made

And the corporations
Think of the endless profits
To be made

Every time they kill
With the war machines

But who cares about the victims
They are nothing but collateral damage

Who cares about the soldiers
Nothing but cannon fodder

Who gives a damn
About the dead
They are dead and gone

Just think about the profits
Think about the profits

Satan is happy
The dogs of war are free at last

April 23 Suburban Laundromatthanks to Don Teeter for the inspiration from a FB posting

Suburban Laundromat Scenes

Suburban laundromat
Anywhere USA

I often go to a suburban laundromat
Near my suburban apartment
I can sit in my car

Listen to jazz, classical or blues
On my car’s radio

And watch my machine
Doing its suburban laundry duty

Just spinning and spinning and cleaning
Doing its thing its laundry thing

The neighborhood is anywhere USA
Strip malls, apartment houses, townhouses
A fire station, a police station

Banks, cell phone shops
Restaurants from around the world

At the parking lot’s edge
As I approach I notice

Gentlemen of the off-grid class
Sitting among their Hogs
Stoned off the semi legal weed
Smiling at me
With an I don’t give a fuck attitude
That is somewhat contagious
They tell stories
Paranoid ramblings
Containing a kernel of truth

As they watch their clothes
Like a hawk

The clothes spin and spin and spin
As the laundry machine does its laundry thing

The machines don’t care about what we humans think
They just do their duty as the man says

Across the old run down boulevard
The light rail line uses a right of way
That dates to the mid 1850’s

An old Indian game trail perhaps
That the white man turned into the first road
In these parts

People come and go
Some in cars
Some on foot

People from all over the world
Speaking languages from everywhere
But all understand English to some extent
And many understand Spanish to some extent

I feel everyone is united
Chiefly by their transience

And think back on old Latin saying
Sic transit Gloria mundi
And wonder if these are the end days

And ask the laundry machine
What does it think

The laundry machine pauses
Seems to think
And looks at me

Almost saying
WTF do you think
A laundry machine knows?

And so, I gather my items
Nod to the regulars

Who interrupt their endless paranoid arguments
Acknowledging my existence

And I stumble back
To my suburban apartment
Truly paradise on earth

April 24 I Want You Right Now

I still want you
More than anything else in life

I want you
I want you next to me

I want you every moment
Of every minute
Of every day

I need you in my life
I need your wisdom
I need your kindness
I need your beauty

I need your special wit
And I need your ability
To deal with this cruel world

I need you to save me
From the demons
That haunt my Soul

For you are my soul mate
The only person

Whoever completed me
And made life worth living

April 25 The Decline of America

You see it everywhere
The unmistakable signs

That the decline of America
Is in full swing

And we have gone past the tipping point
There is nowhere left to go
But downward

As the Empire begins to collapse
Victim of imperial overreach
Like all empires before

The DC metro on a good day
Is a broken-down remnant
Of a once proud system

The future of mass transit
Its proponents said

The interstate highway system
Is falling apart day by day

The cost of rebuilding America mounts
And our politicians are afraid
That it will costs trillions of dollars

Just to prevent the US from collapsing
Into third world irrelevance

We have the world’s most expensive military
A million dollars per missile

And yet we can’t find the money
To provide decent health care for all

Bombs, and tax cuts for the wealthy
Are the only things
That the Republicans care about

And the world looks in amazement
At the clown boy President

As he struts about
Looking more and more
Like some Banana Republic
President for life

With his family grabbing as much loot
As they can
From the federal government

Before the coming revolution
Overthrows them

When did we start this decline?
Some say 1960s started it
Others say Nixon’s to blame

Others claim that it was Carter’s fault
Or Saint Reagan’s fault

Or the other boy President GW Bush
Or Obama the fake American’s fault

Does it really matter
All I know
Is the America I knew

The can do anything country
Is alas no more

And I morn for our lost liberties
Our lost sense of purpose

Our lost sense that America
Was the last great hope of Mankind

And still I wonder
Can America be made great again?
As our President Trump proclaims

The end times approaches
Nuclear war is talked about

Another missile crisis
And instead of JFK leading the country
We have Donald John Trump

The one and only
The greatest con man
To ever get elected

And I fear the end is in sight
As America begins its decline

Will we be one country
Or will we erupt into a civil war

The right claims that the left has started it
And the left claims that the right has started it

And both sides claim that the civil war
Is inevitable
A fight for the future of our country

And so, it goes
The decline of empires

And I pray
That I may survive
The end of times

April 27 Life is Wonderful

This morning I woke up
Always a good thing
At age 61

I looked out my window
And saw a bright blue sky
Nice Spring time weather

Not a frown in the sky
Not a cloud to hide
The bright late April Sun

I looked over
And saw her there

As always
The nighttime anxieties fade away
And I realize once again

Everything will be okay
If she is with me

And I said to myself
What a wonderful day

April 28 Sandwich Choices

There are so many choices to be had
When ordering a sandwich

What kind of bread
What kind of meat or any meat
What kind of cheese or any cheese
Whether to have sprouts or not
Whether to have a pickle or not

Whether to go with a classic peanut butter
And something sandwich

I loved peanut butter sandwiches
As a kid

Peanut butter and sweat pickles were my favorite
Peanut butter and banana is good also

Peanut butter and strawberry jam
What a delightful memory

My current favorite
Is a BLT with sprouts, avocado, and kosher dill pickles?
Heirloom red tomatoes one slice per each half
Avocado one half per each half
One half pickle on each half
Bacon cooked just right – well done but not black
Sprouts and lettuce just right
Timamook Yellow smoked cheddar cheese
On each half

On Gluten Free bread
with chipotle mayo
And Dijon mustard

Cut in half

Truly a sandwich made in heaven
And bacon makes everything
Taste so damn nice

And God if you are reading this poem
You had better prepare them for me
Or Heaven will not be worth it

Does Satan serve BLT sandwiches
I wonder

Probably not
Probably you become the bacon
In his hell sandwiches

April 29 More Coffee Blues

One morning as I drank my fake coffee
I needed to go out and get a cup of real coffee

The fake coffee just did not do the trick
It tasted almost like the real thing

But just did not have that kick
And I needed it bad
I needed the real coffee buzz

I realized that I was a coffee addict
I tried to just drink decafe

But was boring
And almost as bad as the fake coffee
That I drank

Caffeine was bad for me
I knew it

But I craved the rush
Craved the intense buzz
Craved the hyperactivity

Kept me all day
And caused me nightmares

Sometimes for days on end
I knew I could not handle it

But like all addicts
I needed my coffee buzz

And so, I once more
Drank my drug of choice

And entered the coffee zone
As I fried my brain
With caffeine

The last legal drug
In neo-puritan America

And I smiled as I gave in
To the intoxicating smell
And flavor of my coffee
And surrender my free will

And drank my coffee
Waiting for the nightmares to come

April 30 Rambling Man -Where Do I Belong?
I have been a rambling man
All my adult life

Grew up in Berkeley, California
Went to College in Hayward and Oberlin

During my lost year
Lost in a fog of booze and pot

Then I came back to reality
And went to college

In Stockton, California
The central Valley

Ohio transplanted to California
Then after four years in Stockton

With extended weekends
and breaks in Berkeley

I became an expatriate wanderer
Peace Corps worker in Korea

Then taught ESL in Korea
For four years

Occasionally returning to my home
But always wanting to be elsewhere

Then back to Korea

And then Seattle for four years
Driving back and forth to the bay area
Stopping off in Southern Oregon

Eventually bought a house and duplex
In Southern Oregon

Vaguely thinking we would retire there
Some day when my rambling ways were over

Then back to Korea for three more years
Then I joined the Foreign service

And my wife the military
And I wandered the world again

Always somewhere
Always dreaming of my next somewhere

Never there
As I was a permanent expat

And a diplomat to boot
Never a local

But never really felt I belong there
Or in the America
That was becoming more and more
A foreign land
The longer I stayed away

I stayed on in DC for almost ten years
Off and on
But never really felt that I belong there

I was too West Coast in my heart
And DC seemed to be

Just a place to stay
In between travels

Stayed in Thailand
Then later India
And Eastern Caribbean
And later Spain

Traveled to 45 countries
Lived in ten

And now I am retired
Still torn between

living the expat life
In Seoul, Korea

And returning to the West Coast
And occasionally back to DC
and Florida as well

And I wonder
Where do I belong

Where do I belong
Other than wherever
My wife and I end up

Neither here nor there
Half way there

And so is that my fate
Never to really belong

Never to have roots in the ground
Always wanting to be somewhere else

Always a stranger in my native land
And a stranger in my other home
Across the sea

There is no answer to these questions
As the rambling urge comes again

And I prepare to move yet again
Hoping someday I will be

Somewhere where I can stop
These rambling blues
And really be there