TRACY BROOKS believes in the power of poetry and stories. As an intuitive empath and Shamanic healer, she offers channeled writings and poems to support others, www.facebook.com/soulbeckons. Death has always been a teacher to her and she has communicated with those that have passed on for most of her life. This whispering between worlds is the foundation of her first book, which is being finished now. When not writing, she is busy homeschooling her children, receiving wisdom from her dog, teaching yoga to young people, and offering various spiritual practices to others. www.tracybrookswriter.com
DAY 30
prompt : farewell
it’s brave to bloom when your unfolding colors go unwitnessed
like an apparition in the night
you might never be understood
yet every tiny thing holds reverence
nature understands
we all hold a part of forever
time only reminds us to surrender
what you’ve doubted and clung to is important to some patch of this life
set it free
share yourself
relinquish the need to follow what you’ve surrendered
let the ripples go their own way
life returns here over and over
farewell is a sweet wish
—
DAY 29
prompt:include dialogue
when giants tremble
questioning the unanswerable
spending half my time dancing in the mystery
yet some days when sadness finds me I remember my smallness
I see God in the eyes of my own children
and sense both the fragile and sturdiness of life
once when I was six
the strongest thing I knew collapsed
“why God, why did you take my son?”
those cries stayed with me through the years
the desperation and the rawness
the anger and the disbelief
the insurmountable anguish
to bury your own child
I spoke to many angels
I heard God whisper in the night
yet the question remains unanswered
the mystery and absurdity of this life
the beauty and disbelief
even though I glimpsed upon heaven
I long to remove the undergarments of impermanence
holding this paradox feels heavy
yet my curiosity holds on
—
DAY 28:
prompt – An Ode
Ode to the Moon ~ a haiku
how glorious your gaze
resplendent as you are now
versatile unwavering
—
directions
weeping deeply in the between spaces
yet calm for all to see
furiously disrespecting myself
only on the inside does it swell
body must rebel
discontent turns to pain
broken down becomes holy ground
body must find her way
swerve
—
drowning on dry land
in another time we were left to stand alone
barren of hope and left to wander
what becomes of the wildness we befriended, now that comfort has been found?
are we free to hear the elder’s outcries?
do we dare believe untethering happens without cost?
we do not bend without scraping at the marrow
we can not forget without dismembering innocence
when I left us we were drowning in a sea that had no name
ravaged and forlorn, sinking into certain
oblivion
tomorrow dared to rescue our becomings
seeing you again I am frozen in a landscape I chose to betray
terrains of pretending to be content in another’s clinging
we learned to dive deeper without looking back
hardest part was forgetting how to breathe
staying in the depths chokes out the air
making emerging an impossible desire
one day we forget how to rise
swallowed up from within
submerged in all we’ve neglected
perhaps we will die to what was, finally ascending into skins that fit us
—
white privilege
commodity
keep quiet
in denial
stay small
don’t speak up
fear choking
yet we must
question it
scream at it
dismember it
stop killing
stop lying
stop hiding
stop hoarding
stop gloating
freedom calls
everyone
courage begs
stop looking
away now
speak up loud
refuse to
coddle it
yet we must
look at it
speak to it
dismantle it
children die
courage calls
truth answers
—
haiku
body finds release
surrender upon exhale
breath mirrors life here
—
arrive
who are you, down in your bones?
unapologetic
when are you able to feel this, really?
home
where is your true abode?
the wind, the earth, the rain
how do you get there?
surrender
why do you leave ?
wandering
what calls you back?
acceptance
—
The summer sky seemed welcoming. Blankets in the sky. Orange and violet threads. The gaze was upon what left. When someone dies, what remains?
When endings are beginnings do we forgive the one who called him back?
What of the ardent cries of the mourning crows? I am at once absorbed and removed by the layers of life sweeping over me. I saw the biggest being collapse and crumble. I felt the earth tremble in remorse. In this instant I could see, iron fists have alabaster hearts.
—
on the outside
seeds of longing
wanting to embrace the sorrows
knowing beyond words
the temporary is upon us
smells of coffee, bandages and death
wafting from the crevices
they should have let me in
they wanted to protect me
yet
death was already a trusted friend
—
haiku
wind howling loudly
I hear my grandmother’s pain
rain softly soothes it
—
my body the outcast
seventeen hurt physically
”you’re too sensitive” they said
”you’ve no idea” whispered my body
twenty-five had me running
”you’re too trusting” they said
”you’ve no idea” said my body softly
thirty-four brought both death and life
”it must be bittersweet” they said
”you’ve no idea” my body retorted
Fifty fell apart beside me
”oh it’s MS” they said
”you’ve no fucking idea” screamed my body
—
anticipation
(for my precious grandson)
I knew your heartbeat
it was etched upon the winds even long ago
I dreamed of your sweetness long before
you ever entered this space
it was if the angels let your essence
speak to us in the night
oh how much you were wished for
your arrival still delights me
love lives in your eyes
—
haiku
uncontrollable
I need someone to hold it
please fence it in
—
lifetimes have passed since I have heard my own heartbeat
some kind of noise always drowns it out
through the chaos I feel her
she dances to music no one else can hear
carrying multitudes of beauty and despair in every step
bittersweet movements
patterns
rhythms
pauses
blossoms right where she is
she is her own muse
—
I have forever
gazed up at the sky longingly
feeling homesick
I have forever
wandered forgotten spaces
tasting freedom
I have forever
prayed for a way to forget
what the ache whispers
I have forever
come back searching
for what was left behind
—
don’t stop the rain
secrets of our mothers
whispered in the dark
forgotten over time
yet they still howl in the wind
spoon fed lies
watered down love
poured over gaping hurts
we still believed in the promises
freshly presses linens
crimson colored dress
all the pretty things
couldn’t hide the fading bruises
yet in the distance
my great grandmother sings
”what becomes of the rain,
don’t we all get wet?”
—
scars
festering wound
covered by forgetting
standing up against all odds
blocking out noise
body can only stay quiet for so long
pain turns inward
poisons what’s still free
collapse is imminent
pay attention
to the ways the body reaches out
allow the messages to be welcomed
scars need allies
—
haiku
life holds me here now
infinity casts its net
pulls me towards home
—
skinsong
in this skin
raw
unstoppable
small
collapsible
all extremes fade into flesh
in this skin
life has been held
death has been walked with
all of life
lays upon the landscape
in this skin
pain has tried to eat me
fear has held me down
yet touching life brought forth love
songs of protection and immersion
repelling and inviting
sensing both truth and disarray
holds me here
series of haikus
on the dark edges
I wept inside lost spaces
imminent return home
swept out of corners
I fed upon barren hurts
listening to wind
carelessly I left
devouring all intention
broken heart be free
death refuses lies
in breath we swallow heartache
exhale what remains
—
of silence – a haiku
space between the breath
infinite surrender here
always a threshold
—
Day 3
Results
what of the collapsed shadows in the corner
their knowing that
the lurking angel of death
would have to be invited
this wasn’t supposed to be your farewell party
but in the somber air, the doctor told the DJ it was time for the last dance
so
I reached for the sun in the middle of the night
borrowed courage from your stories
and begged the angels for more time
I told God my breath felt borrowed so could I give some back
to you now?
In the eleventh hour we always find our courage
that’s what you always said
not sure what kept the sadness from bleeding me out
no choice now but to say it
since you almost surely knew
yet he didn’t
burning truths must be surrendered
you’d have no way to stop time
I’d have no way to contain you
as your body was fading
your spirit was growing far too big for this world
neither one of us ever liked endings
yet here we were amongst the cruelest goodbye
telling you you were dying was the hardest thing I ever had to do
but you wanted the truth
I saw you searching
love forced me to be much braver than I was
—
Day 2
a haiku-
longest steps taken
towards what grows you onwards
your path calls your name
—
DAY 1
what of this beautiful mess
right before my eyes
soft glow of departing sun make it perfect
open windows
birds whisper
telling me softly
“love is the best song”
scents of flowers and brisket
comfort in each breath
time disappears as my foot softly brushes up against my four legged best friend
slow sips of coffee
I feel my mama in the air
reminding me to savor this
salty tears begin to tiptoe down my face
small fingers that smell like crayons and cookies reach out to call me back
I hear the raspy voice declare
“Mother, this is beyond magnificent “
messy haired wonder
smiles right before me
joy resides in me
this tiny moment will live on
DAY 2
a haiku-
longest steps taken
towards what grows you onwards
your path calls your name
—
DAY 3