As a child I was never offered any choices. I was told what to do and I did it. No questions asked. As an adult I make decisions each day. Some are easy, but others are very difficult. As a well trained people pleaser, I tend to second guess big decisions especially when they involve other people. I don’t want to hurt others intentionally with my decisions, but inevitably life has pain and I have to follow my heart and intuition. Otherwise I get sick and depressed and the lesson becomes more difficult. Taking care of me is a very hard thing to do because I am so used to being focused on others needs and wants in spite of my own.
It feels selfish to take care of me, but I know it is what I have to do first in order to help others. I can’t help someone with their oxygen mask until mine is securely in place. I have also learned there are no wrong choices, only opportunities to learn and grow. Of course, sometimes the lessons need to be repeated before I get them. I suppose that is what makes life interesting and unpredictable. It’s the human condition.
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