Waiting for you

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1983

Waiting for you

 

Waiting for you, as the days and the nights come and go…

I will continue waiting till the end of time.

Ever since you left me in this world,

my soul went after you,

 traveling from moon to moon, and, from star to star…

to every place it could see

looking for your soul…

Like going from corpse to corpse,

from grave to grave,

for this world without you is like a dead place.

I am alive and immortal because I am full of you

unable to erase you from my heart and from my eyes…

You are in the water I drink, the food I eat…

in the air I breathe, in the colors I see, and in the fragrance I smell…

But I ask:  How are you everywhere and nowhere?

 

I feel like I can press the oceans

and squeeze all their water into a little drop of rain…

and that I can move the matter in this world to non-matter,

yet I am not able to remove your image from each cell or molecule in me… 

 

Appear once again… Only once… and again do not appear…

I am not certain about myself!  Whether or not I still exist…?

I feel like I am hanging in a buffer zone between the before and after…

Between…To be or not to be…!

 

My people are gathering every day

to hear me…

Their lips are dried for few drops of rain;

their ears are thirsty for words;

their souls are hungry for love;

and their bodies are tired of the long days working in the fields,

traveling on feet to the meeting place…

 

When you once sat on the couch, I used to pick the words I need,

as if I were picking flowers from a garden and fruits from a tree…

Then, I met with them every night, and filled their cups with what they needed…

But now, when I try to say a word, I feel my lips dry and dead,

and I am unable to talk…

I feel that only deep silence could deliver my speech…

Hoping that they understand a language that cannot be heard.

I am frozen,

 silent like a statue in front of them, not because I know less,

but because I feel much more…

I become silence when I recall your soul

as if you are the key to all secrets —

Without you, I posses the silence of the ignorant,

of those who know much less than they think they know…

But with you, I hold the silence of

those who know much more than they know,

more than what languages can contain or could explain…

With you I see floods of light

and without you, I am in total blackout.

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